Thanks for the Memories (Eremin)
by Fireheart828
Summary: Armin returns to his old home in Shiganshina, only to be greeted by memories - good and bad. But maybe he'll discover something, too. Something called love.


**Just a little warning! This this fanfiction contains some spoilers for the Trost District arc of the Attack on Titan anime/manga. Also, this is rated T for... language? With that out of the way, please enjoy! :3**

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The floorboards creaked under Armin's feet as he wandered through his grandfather's old house. The second operation to retake Wall Maria and the towns on the edges of the wall had been a success, much thanks to Eren's titan-shifting abilities, and the Garrison was now working incredibly hard to reconstruct the towns. The reconstruction had not yet begun in Shiganshina, but the previous residents of the town were now being allowed to return to their homes and assess the damage. Armin expected to feel thrilled about returning home after five years, but he couldn't have felt emptier. All his hometown seemed to do was bring back sour memories, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to return to his grandfather's old place after all these years, but here he was, in the house he spent the first ten years of his life in. It felt like so long ago. Too long ago.

Armin slowly scanned the living room with his eyes. It was in a state of disarray. All of the windows were broken, most of the furniture had been knocked on its side, and the cupboards were all open, their contents now strewn across the floor. He immediately deduced the mess had been caused by robbers, and most definitely not titans. Whoever was left behind during the raid must have gotten desperate. Armin didn't blame them. He just simply stepped around the broken glass that seemed to almost completely cover the floor.

Memories of his old, simple life infiltrated his thoughts. He could almost hear his grandfather's kind voice welcoming him home after a day of school. He had, for as long as he could remember, been close to his grandfather. Armin had even been named by him. Eventually, he found himself wishing the old man had chosen a name that didn't get him teased as much as Armin Arlert did. He could even remember the fight he'd gotten in with his grandfather over that exact subject. That's when he learned the meaning of his name. Warrior. Now the man who had named him was dead. Gone.

Armin shook his head, trying to shove those thoughts out of his mind, and headed towards his bedroom. He was determined to make this trip go as smoothly as possible, and decided that he wasn't going to stand and daydream anymore. He forced his bedroom door open and searched for anything of value that he could take back to Trost District with him. He immediately froze in his tracks when he spotted a certain book lying neatly on the top of his bed. Despite the fact that the rest of the room was in pretty much the same condition as the living room, the book looked like it hadn't been touched at all in years. He inched towards it, and ran his fingers over the brown cover of the book. Maybe he should've just left it alone. But he couldn't. He slowly picked it an skimmed through it silently. Before his eyes were beautiful illustrations of the infamous lands of ice... water that burned like fire... the "sea", which was apparently composed of salt. He absent-mindedly sat down on his bed as he stared in awe at the drawings like he always used to when he was he was younger.

Was this really what his parents had died for? Armin froze. Even if the world outside was that amazing, was it at all worth their lives? Did it even matter? They were dead! He should've stopped them! He should've done SOMETHING! But he was too weak. Too scared. Too pathetic. He'd always been this way. He honestly deserved to be constantly picked on by the other children his age. Even then, he couldn't take the beatings and would always cry out for Eren and Mikasa's help. Did someone like this deserve his spot in the world? Maybe if he'd been eaten by the titan instead of Eren that one time, things would be better for everyone. At least he wouldn't constantly be a burden on his comrades when they were just trying to survive. Maybe some of them wouldn't have died.

Only when there was a knock on the door did Armin notice the tears that were starting to ball up in his eyes. "Armin!" He recognized the voice immediately. It was Eren. "We're supposed to be leaving soon. Just giving you a heads-up, so you won't get left behind."

Armin nodded, even though Eren couldn't see him. "Okay. I'll be right there."

"Hey, can I come in?" Eren asked.

After wiping his eyes, Armin reluctantly answered with a weak, "Yeah."

The brunette's face then popped in the doorway, his green eyes shining just a little due to the way the light was cast upon them. Armin smiled just the slightest bit at the sight. He'd always loved Eren's eyes... And there'd always been something about Eren that he absolutely loved... He never could quite figure it out, though.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eren inquired after noticing the look on his friend's face. Armin just shook his head. "You'd better tell me!" Armin wasn't sure if Eren was teasing him or threatening him. There was then a look of recognition on Eren's face. "Hey, is that the book you showed me when we were kids? You know, the one about the outside world?"

Armin suddenly realized he was still holding the book in his hands. He blankly stared at his friend a while before answering. "...Yeah."

"Wow. Can't believe it was still here after all these years."

"...Yeah."

"Okay, something's seriously wrong with you. I can tell," Eren muttered, sitting down next to Armin on his bed. "Tell me, Arm."

Armin stared blankly at him again before suddenly seeming to come to life. "They're dead... They're all dead! AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT, TOO!"

Eren didn't ask who his friend was talking about, having been quite used to this by now. He sighed. "You didn't kill anyone, Armin. None of this is your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's the damn titans'."

Armin quieted down, but only for a little while. "But... If I weren't here, maybe none of this would've happened!"

Eren chuckled. "You think you're so damn important, don't you?"

"What...? No! That couldn't be further from the truth..."

"Then why do you think you caused all of this?"

"...Well, I caused some of it. If I hadn't been here, maybe I wouldn't have slowed my comrades down! Maybe they wouldn't be dead now!"

"Armin, you still didn't—"

Armin interrupted him. "I know that time you got eaten by that titan was my fault! I sat there and did nothing! I just watched you die! Do you even realize how hard it was for me to lose you!? As far as I knew, you were dead! Gone! You'd exchanged your life, which, in my eyes, is more valuable than rubies for my pathetic one! Why, Eren!? Why would you do that!?" Silent tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"Armin..."

"WHAT, EREN!? What are you going to say!?"

"...Shut up, Armin."

"WHY!? WH-" The blonde was then interrupted. Not by his friend's words, but by a pair of lips pressed against his own. Armin's eyes looked like big, blue saucers as his brain struggled to process what was happening. A million questions ran through his mind at the same time, a few seeming to stick out from the others. Why? Why was this happening to him right here, right now? ...And why did he like it so much? On a whim, Armin kissed back, feeling that electricity he'd only really read about before.

The two stayed there like for quite a while, until Eren finally pulled away. "...Because I love you." That's when Armin realized what it was that he'd felt towards Eren this whole time. He was madly in love with him. It was an interesting concept, really. And, why, of all people, did it have to be Eren...? In his entire life, he'd never been so confused. Why...? But he forced that question out of his mind.

"I love you, too..." Armin whispered. He stared into Eren's absolutely stunning green eyes. Then, without any kind of warning, he kissed the brunette again. The kiss seemed to last forever.

"Armin." Huh? Whose voice was that...? What if someone had walked in on them!? Shit!

"Armin. Armin, wake up." The blonde woke up with a start to see Mikasa's head hovering over his, her black hair falling in her face. "...Armin, it's past time to get up." He then realized where he was. He was back to reality, the terrible place where he was condemned to live out the rest of his life. Eren wasn't there with him. He was in custody of the Survery Corps, serving under Commander Levi, holding onto his life by a thread, Armin was sure. There was never any second operation to retake Wall Maria, either.

Armin slowly sat up on his bunk bed, which paled in comparison to his old bed in Shiganshina. The one from his dream last night. Anyway, why did he have such a strange dream...? An unrealistic one, too. He rarely had dreams like that. He never allowed himself to.

"Armin. Today's the choosing ceremony. Everyone else is already awake." Mikasa said in her usual deadpan tone of voice. That's right! Today he was going to officially choose which branch of the military he wanted to join. He'd already made up his mind, though. He was going to be in the Survey Corps with Eren. He had to be.

"I'll be right there..." Armin said groggily. Mikasa turned to leave, and he was alone again. What he'd said and felt in his dream... Was it really true? He contemplated this as he put on his uniform. He guessed he would never know, or be able to find out. And that was the way it would always be. He couldn't afford to fall in love in this world anyway. Not in the state it was in. But, maybe, one day, when the world outside the walls was theirs again... Maybe he could learn to love. Just maybe.


End file.
